Yes.  Even though I quote you a price to “get it done,” there is some outer limit to the number of sessions we would have, before we began to speak of the mediation failing.  It is rare, but it happens.  In our first consultation, you must use your best intuition and common sense to guide you whether to go forward or not.

We will give you our honest assessment of the complexity and difficulty of your specific case. We actually don’t take every case, and sometimes believe parties need attorneys and court. That is a small percentage of our clients, but we will provide you a straight-talk bottom line professional assessment.

Great question. In the last 5 years or so, we have had two mediations break down (out of hundreds), and BOTH were because the second person to meet us believed we were more loyal to the original caller.

So, we do everything in our power to be neutral, objective, forthcoming, honest (have to work hard at that—kidding of course) and fair under the law and under a sense of justice. This can be challenging in rare circumstances where our professional assessment is that one side is being difficult. We have to navigate that scenario and still maintain an equal relationship to both parties. Mr. Lodge will usually call it out directly and clearly but without blame.

So again, all parties must enter the mediation hoping to be their best self and trusting the process. There are usually moments for both parties, at different times, when they think to themselves they are getting the short end of things. But those work out in the end. Nothing is final until all parties sign, so there is time to reflect on any agreements and negotiations before signing things.

Another great question. We use the law as a backdrop to everything. So, for any one issue, usually Mr. Lodge will discuss the law or even read it outloud. He will ask questions to both parties to gather the facts. He will also ask the parties what they would ideally like or suggest. Sometimes that process creates natural answers. Other times the parties agree to something totally different than what the law would dictate, which is okay in mediation.

When the parties seem hopelessly far apart, Mr. Lodge will state what he believes a judge might rule. With that he will propose a potential solution, without being “wed” to it, but just to get the parties thinking about a solution.

Interestingly, the mediation process sometimes creates a scenario where for the first time in years the parties actually listen to each other. Finally, in divorce they have to peacefully communicate in order to resolve all issues. Mr. Lodge is gifted and highly creative in helping couples accomplish that.

This comes up in some mediations. Parties may want to gain a secret advantage by sharing private information with the mediator. Sometimes they want to tell us the other side always lies, or is hiding money, or is a bad parent, or was emotionally abusive. Other times they want to share something with us that they are afraid to bring up in the mediation or that they think will be detrimental.

There are also times when one party will admit privately they are willing to concede more than they state aloud in the mediation, and that can be helpful to us and the mediation process.

Our position on such communications outside of the mediation process is to generally keep everything confined to the mediation, but on a case by case basis we sometimes do allow such private communications. We normally then disclose to all parties that we had such a communication. We do not reveal the content of what was shared, unless we first discuss it with the party that shared it with us.

It should be noted that Mr. Lodge explains to all parties that as an attorney everything either of you state is confidential.  Attorneys are the only entity that must keep all confessions and information entirely confidential. If for some reason the mediation process breaks down, our offices may never reveal anything stated or offered by either party.  Likewise the parties may not rely on what was promised in mediation unless of course we produce a final signed agreement.

In traditional litigation, both parties have an attorney.  Every single issue is decided by the judge.  Most issues are separated and handled individually as motions.  For example, there may be a motion for child support, which is briefed, filed, and document production is completed.  

Then there is the hearing itself.  Often that hearing is continued due to lack of total disclosure or the need for more information.  On it goes, while both attorneys are billing generously to their clients (you). 

 Also in litigation, the attorneys escalate issues so that both sides become increasingly polarized.  So if you should, say, receive around $1000 per month in support, then your attorney will demand $1800 per month.  The other side will say all sorts of bad things about you, and ask the court for $400.  The parties then hate each other even more than they thought possible.  On it goes, as billing gets higher and higher.  

There are also “discovery” costs where both attorneys propound interrogatories, document production and even depositions to the other side.  Both sides do this, and again, huge amounts of work need to be done just to keep up.  

Contrast all this to mediation, where we can resolve everything by working together, sharing necessary information, and creating solutions that work for BOTH parties.  In mediation you pay for one professional, namely the mediator.  In litigation you each pay for an attorney.  

Also, the filing fee in typical litigation is $870.00 for both parties, paid to the court.  But in mediation, the forms now allow for half that to be paid, only $435 total.  Further, in mediation, if one of the parties can be considered low income, Mr. Lodge will file in such a way as to avoid all court and filing fees entirely.  A legal loophole, where the parties literally pay zero to the courts and instantly save the $870 filing fee.

Our offices are pretty good at assessing each case for the level of complexity and potential time. We are very fair with billing and prefer a fixed rate, rather than billing you for every email, every call, etc.

This is the same thing in the high professions like doctors, dentists and even contractors.

I remember once having a tooth pulled (kind of like divorce, right?). It came right out, like super easy. The dentist told me the day earlier he had a patient where the tooth would not come out. He had to grind, cut, take x-rays in the middle of the process, chip, take breaks, and it took like 3 hours. Mine was 5 minutes. Same charge.

So, in some cases we need more time, and in others, things fall into place somewhat easily. If you are one of the couples where it goes easy, don’t fret about the money, you are still saving a huge amount over litigation, and you will likely be on a friendly basis with your ex, which is worth a lot.

The bottom line is we are fair with billing and you will save money.

Mr. Lodge becomes a neutral objective mediator who is not an attorney for either of you individually, but is on both your sides. He asks questions and listens, and using the law as a backdrop will help guide you to fair and reasonable outcomes. If for any reason the mediation breaks down, Mr. Lodge can never be the attorney for just one of you.